My mother was of the belief that anything new took 12 weeks to get used to. To own. To be confident enough in your own abilities.
Come home with an infant? Twelve weeks and you'll be golden. Exhausted. But golden.
New job? Twelve weeks and you'll get the hang of it and can fake your way through what you don't quite know.
New friendships? New relationships? New living arrangements? Twelve weeks was the magic number.
On the day my mom died I got a message from someone asking for a reading. In the time since her death I have received a number of requests for readings. I wasn't up for it. I didn't have it in me quite yet.
When Jane and I finished our Florida to NY road trip I dumped an awful lot of stuff from my moms house into my reading room. My sacred space was now filled with more treasures from my moms sacred space. And a whole lot of non treasures. I would walk into the room, look at it and s-l-o-w-l-y back out.
My friend Claire suggested I get in touch with Jessica. You all know Jessica from our combined readings which have been on hiatus since I was bouncing back and forth from NY to FL along with other life issues. (They're coming back. That's another post!) ANYWAY, I made an appointment to see Jessica on 7/10. I crossed it off my list and put in on my calendar.
Last week I started to clear the reading room. I put away what needed to be put away. I organized a few things. I thought to myself, "Look at you finally attacking this stuff."
Then I was nudged to look at a calendar. To see what was making me feel motivated. Friday, July 14 will be twelve weeks since my mom died. OF COURSE IT IS. I am easing into the new normal without my mom on the other end of the phone.
In case you're curious, Jessica did connect with my mom - she's great. Would you have expected anything else?
SO, the moral of this post is that 12 weeks is the golden ticket. At least for me. For you, it may be shorter, it may be longer, but I can certainly say I felt the difference.
9-13-35 ~ 4-21-23
Peg Buckley was born on Friday, September 13, 1935 in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, NY to Margaret and Arthur Damm. Her mom wanted to name her Nellie. However, the Catholic Church required Saint names in 1935 and the saint’s name for Nellie was Helen. Go ahead, say it out loud. Helen Damm. It’s hilarious. Hence, she ended up Margaret Nellie Damm. Her family called her Margue (pronounced with an emphasis on the G). Her kids were lucky enough to call her Mom, Mommy, Mommo and Mama – and occasionally, Mother, but only when it was necessary. She was thrilled to be Grandma Bubbles to her grandchildren and great grandchildren.
In 1967, the family moved from Brooklyn “to the country,” AKA Massapequa, NY on Long Island. From there Peg lived in Mt. Kisco, NY, Kauai, HI, Siesta Key, FL and Sarasota, FL. She forged lifelong friendships and made lasting impressions wherever she was.
Peg worked as a secretary for the FBI (perhaps that’s where her love for ALL those types of television programs began), AT&T as a long-distance operator, NY Telephone Company, where she was responsible for the implementation of Wang computers in the legal department and NYNEX after divestiture.
Those jobs were stepping stones for her real work.
Peg walked her talk. A self-described peacemaker, Peg was a tireless crusader for civil rights, migrant workers, women’s rights, children’s causes, and anything that sparked a bit of fury in her; she wanted things to be right, fair and just. These are values she raised her family with. We have and will continue to honor her teachings.
A lifelong questioner of all things spiritual, it was only natural that Peg started her journey learning meditation. She studied shamanism. She became a Reiki master. She found her way to tarot cards. She was a gifted reader who read hundreds of clients over the years including more than a few celebrities. She was an equally gifted teacher of the tarot.
Peg’s greatest learning adventure happened in Kauai, Hawaii. While there, Peg studied the seven principles of Huna with Serge Kahili King. She was a glorious Hawaiian Shaman who kept the company of Play Bear and Serious Bear.
On Thursday morning before she left this earthly plane, she recited the principles she lived by every day.
· IKE– The world is what you think it is.
· KALA– There are no limits, everything is possible.
· MAKIA – Energy flows where attention goes.
· MANAWA – Now is the moment of power.
· ALOHA – To love is to be happy.
· MANA – Power comes from within.
· PONO – Effectiveness is the measure of truth.
Peg ran retreats all over the world. She loved laughing meditations. She loved labyrinths. She loved breathing exercises. She loved connecting with people from every walk of life. She LISTENED. She was not a passive listener; she was an active listener. You always felt heard.
She read voraciously and had eclectic taste in reading. She had many bookshelves filled with spiritual and poetry volumes. Her most influential spiritual teacher was Thich Nhat Hanh. Her favorite poet was Billy Collins. We think her favorite genre had to be mysteries and gore. She leaves behind journals and notebooks filled with millions of words; sharing her poetry, her innermost thoughts and her love of this life she lived.
She tried her hand at knitting, crochet, needlepoint, Zentangle, sculpture and even painting.
Bar none, one of Peg's favorite inventions was the DVR. No weeknight was complete without Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. You would have thought Amy Schneider was her own child by the way she cheered her on during her reign. If the words NCIS were in the title, she watched it. CNN and MSBNC kept her informed of the news of the world. CBS This Morning let her know what was happening on a daily basis. She jumped over to the Today show on Sunday's to visit with Willie Geist. The Hallmark channel kept her entertained day in and day out. We laughed out loud at the show Ghosts. We binge watched the Spring Baking Championship from the first season until the last. TV provided amazing companionship when she was home. She was “friends” with each and every person she watched on TV.
Her favorite word was serendipity. One of her catch phrases was Holy Jamolee. And we ALL know her very favorite sentence was, “While you’re up…” For the record, more often than not, none of us were “up.”
She welcomed you with “Aloha!” She thanked you with “Mahalo.”
She adored pretty, sparkly things! She enjoyed fine crystal for eating, drinking and serving. She collected Mother Earth crystals for protection, guidance and meditation. Her dishes were vibrantly colored. She wore glorious scarves. Her eyeglasses were statement pieces. She had an abundance of well-loved jewelry. She changed her pocketbook with every outfit. Her toenails HAD to be glittery, preferably in the pink family. She never left the house without lipstick on. She thoroughly embraced the Sarasota boutique Oh My Gauze! with a rainbow of color hanging in her closet. Each piece of her artwork told a story. Her home was a warm, bodacious, colorful, light filled, magical, peaceful space. She held court on her throne and we loved (and teased) her for it.
She loved to cook and was of the full belief “why use one recipe when you can combine many.” She loved Penzey’s spices and had a cabinet full of them. She loved kitchen gadgets. She enjoyed dinner parties, oatmeal under the oaks, brunch, restaurants by the water and gathering with her people.
She loved Sarasota for its culture and was a member of every art/dance/theater/opera company in the area. She loved museums. She loved galleries. She loved shops that had whimsical items.
She had a great wanderlust. She had sensational experiences all over the world. She adored China. The Cliffs of Mohr took her breath away. Paris on New Year’s Eve with her friend Helen was an oft spoken about adventure. She believed it was terribly unfair that she had no Italian in her because Italy spoke so strongly to her.
She was, in a word, MARVELOUS.
Peg’s final lasting lesson to all of us was to teach us how to live while dying. To be thoroughly optimistic and full of hope while at the same time, realistic. To surround herself and others in golden light and with golden hearts. To accept the end of her life with grace and laughter and endless measures of love.
Her last words to her many friends were, “I hope I see you again someday.” Her soul sisters and brothers connected with her on deep level and will most certainly meet up with her again. Look for the signs.
Her sister Nancy and her sister Rosemary have lost their middle sister. She was predeceased by her brother Art and “her baby,” her brother Charles (when she was eight) who she loved forever.
She bequeaths to the world, her greatest legacy, her ohana, her family.
The Pinques: Maggie, Marco, Peter and Isabella.
The Stephens: Annemarie, Ted, Caitlan (Kyle, Luca, Alden & Emmett Reed), Joshua, Nathaniel and Jennifer (Dalton & Lorelai Leeman).
The McCarthys: Jane, Brian, Colleen and Doug.
The Buckleys: Tom, Kim, Jack, Lily, Kate and Molly.
To quote Aunt Nancy, our days will be a little dimmer for a while.
We must take a moment to call out her physicians and their staff. Over the years she raved about her excellent care and we couldn’t agree more.
Oncology: Dr. Elizabeth Guancial, Arin Jackson, Nurse Practitioner, Bree, RN
Moffitt Radiation Oncology: Dr. Dan Fernandez
Gynecology: Dr. Toni Kilts
Cardiology: Dr. Mark Ramos, Stephanie, RN
Ophthalmology: Dr. Keye Wong
Family Medicine & Geriatrics: Dr. Soordal Prakash
Peg participated in a gynecological support group, THRIVE, run by Elizabeth Bornstein and Carolyn Primus. It was her safe place to go where she could share exactly how life was treating her with others going through similar situations. Twice a month she gave herself permission to be fully and completely real. Her life was enriched by the women in her group.
At the end of her life Peg was exquisitely cared for by Tidewell Hospice.
There are not enough superfluous adjectives to thank her nurse, Angela Barrs. Angie is a breath of sunshine who brought a soft, calm demeanor along with kindness, compassion and astute knowledge of what could happen as the months passed. She made the whole family feel comfortable every step of the way and never pulled any punches. Her beautiful soul and her great laugh will be remembered by us forever.
Huge thanks to Donna Darcangelo, the nurse who arrived late at night and stayed until we were stable. She sat with us, sang with us, laughed with us, cried with us, and held Peg and our hands. She arrived exactly when we needed her the most and for that we are grateful beyond measure.
Thank you to Brenda Meldrum, who answered the phone at 4:00am and helped talk us off the ledge. Her knowledge and experience were precisely what we needed, when we needed it.
We extend thanks and love to Nidia Juarbe – CNA, Carol Avellino – CNA, Carol Vogel – LMT, Lisa Long – MSW, Beth Palmer – Wing Span player and spiritual sharer, Sherry Cleckner – RN and Elizabeth Wilson – RN. If we have forgotten anyone we apologize, please know how important you were to Peg.
Please do not send flowers. PLEASE make a donation in her name to the amazing organization that provided so much tender care to her.
Tidewell Hospice: https://tidewellfoundation.org/donate/
A Florida Celebration of Life will be held on Friday, May 19 from 11-1 at the Village Gardens Club House located at 5098 Village Gardens Drive, Sarasota, Florida 34234.
A New York Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, June 17 at The Hudson Valley Writers Center located at 300 Riverside Drive, Sleepy Hollow, NY 10591.
Published in the Herald-Tribune
A week has passed in the life of Peg and Maggie.
Multiple family texts have been sent back and forth. It is imperative to keep everyone up to date; when you’re not here it is a guessing game. When you ARE here it is a guessing game. It is the double-edged sword of caregiving.
Nidia, Peg’s regularly scheduled CNA is away so there has been adjusting to different folks at different times. I am rather amused that she’s vacationing in Brooklyn where it has been hotter than in Florida.
Last week was an “up-ish” beginning of the week. Spirits were high, energy was high.
This week has been a recovery week and not so up. New medicine routines have been established. There’s another new med hitting tomorrow and another change scheduled for Sunday. Each change is a “what will happen next” event. So far, we’ve done a fairly good job of staying on top of what’s best.
Yesterday we had reached critical mass in the kitchen. No eggs. No milk. No cold cuts. Only one lemon left. (This is perhaps the most egregious offense.) It’s been a “low” week so I didn’t want to leave mom alone for too long.
You think to yourself, how long could it take to get groceries? WELCOME to Florida. Where every light is 100 minutes long. Where even though there are three lanes for cars it still takes forever to get anywhere. Where you need to go to multiple places to get the groceries you require because each place has slightly different/better stuff. It’s a solid two hours every time. No joke. This was for three stores. NEXT TO EACH OTHER she yelled from the keyboard.
So, what was I to do?
Enter Angie, Peg’s nurse. On Thursday’s she has a zoom meeting scheduled at 12:30 that typically lasts upwards of three hours. She normally takes the meeting in the car. Well, well, well, look at that. The perfect solution. I asked her if she wanted to work in the office and I would run out. SHE SAID YES! (This also requires a yell.)
I was able to get more lemons (::: whew :::) and she was able to sit at a desk.
Now, if you know me, you know I pride myself on being a 5-star B&B (and Uber, right kids?). So of course, I came home and made lunch for everyone. It was so nice knowing I could run out and Peg was with someone who frankly, was far better equipped to handle any emergency than I am.
We have decided this will be our new Thursday routine. (Note to self: find out Angie’s favorite foods and snacks and treats…)
I read mom all of the comments. She’s loving them. I like to think it helps keep friends and family in the loop of what’s happening on the frontlines.
I’ll keep you posted.
PS - the title *would* be better if I was actually a Star Trek fan, but let's face it, some things are iconic.
As many of you know, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in December 2020. My sister Jane got on the first plane out of New York, mask fully in place, and got herself to Florida to be with our mom. She managed the diagnosis, the setting up of many, many appointments, the day to day living of life and working full time.
In May of 2021, our family began rotating who would be with mom. Each one of us bring something new and different to the caregiving table. Each one of us has “other parts of our lives” happening at the same time.
My mom said to me, “I once wished I could spend time with each of you all by yourselves as adults. Who *knew* I would have that wish come true.”
Jane and I began alternating five week shifts over the last year. Five weeks in Florida followed by five weeks in New York. Our sister Annemarie and brother Tom have come when they have been able to. Although they may not be physically in Florida, their love, care and compassion is supremely evident every day.
Caring for a sick parent is emotional whiplash.
Peg has been independent her entire adult life. She has lived alone. She is a tremendous cook. She can also bake. She is a voracious reader. She loves bright and beautiful clothes, jewelry, and furnishings. She has probably over a million words written in a myriad of notebooks. She has many people who love and care about her who are friends who became family. She is absolutely on top of all things current in the news. She loves all things FBI, NCIS, The Enforcer, Magnum, firefighting, policing, detectiving on TV. The Hallmark channel is also a favorite. British TV makes her very happy.
She is my teacher of all things metaphysical, which for the record, I made fun of in the beginning.
Imagine when your life is ending and you chose to go out with humor and love and grace.
You give up your independence. You give up your kitchen. (You still ask for Beef Wellington because why not. Nope. I haven’t made it.) Your sight goes and you can’t read. You fall asleep listening to audible books. You’re no longer steady on your feet and you need assistance with all things bodily related. Your reliance on others is real.
Hospice comes in and they provide much needed help for the primary caregivers. Angie is her nurse. She checks vitals, asks important questions, makes sure the meds are filled and has a vast repertoire of knowledge for what comes next. Nidia helps her in the shower three times a week and slathers on a gorgeous lavender cream so Peg is smooth and feeling special. Lisa comes in monthly for mental health check ins. Beth comes and plays games with her and talks Reiki and body healing and all the other things Peg is known for. Carol comes and does reflexology. They are professional, amazing, beautiful human beings who have often lived with great loss. It makes them compassionate beyond measure.
It takes a village to raise and then to maintain a family.
Our mom is willing to discuss death. She isn’t afraid of it. She’s just annoyed and sad she won’t be here to see all of her legacy continue to thrive and grow and live their best lives.
For Christmas she gave each of her kids a copy of her will, her power of attorney, and her DNR.
She has begun to go through her belongings and mailing out special pieces of jewelry with the origin story of the piece.
Her artwork has invisible post it notes on each piece of who is getting what.
Caring for an extremely intelligent adult is still exhausting when you are responsible for all the same things you are responsible for when caring for a toddler. Get up, make coffee, make breakfast, clean up breakfast, think about lunch, make lunch, clean up lunch, make dinner, clean up. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Plan it. Shop for it. Unload it. Make it. Sweet baby Jesus.
Jane and I have learned we are better together. To have someone to bounce stuff off of. We have spent more time together in the past two years than we have spent in probably all of our lives. We have learned to laugh really hard at each other because getting annoyed at who we are as humans is mean spirited and counter productive to our cause. And yes, sometimes we are tired and cranky. But we want the same result.
We have one chance to walk someone home. To do it with love. With kindness. With grace. It is an honor and a privilege.
I’ll keep you posted.
In February 2020 I bought many of my favorite books, a fabulous bookmark, a coaster, a fun pouch, and a cozy blanket to use for a raffle for Let It Shine.
I have looked at these items for a L O N G time.
The total value of these items is $308 (woo-hoo!)
March 2023 celebrates the third anniversary of LIS. It has been one of my greatest honors to be a small part of this remarkable organization that does so much for so many.
NOW is the time to raffle these off.
Each entry will be $10. Enter as many times as you want. The cut off date for this will be March 1. This gives people PLENTY of time to enter, save, share and look forward to this amazing pile of deliciousness.
If you are local, you can pick it up from me.
If you are long distance we will work out shipping.
How to pay for the raffle:
Last four digits of my cell: 4517
Please indicate: Let It Shine
My cell: 914-261-4517
It is under the name Margaret
Please indicate: Let It Shine
Please indicate: Let It Shine
This is the song Kacey listened to on repeat as she imagined her not for profit.
P!NK singing "A Million Dreams"
If I were to try to backtrack to say what the last two years have been like, you would quickly drop off to sleep. We've ALL lived through the last two years.
Sometimes with great joy. Sometimes with infinite sadness and grief.
I have handled it strictly with carbohydrates. It's not pretty but at the moment it is certainly comforting. Writing this sentence reminds me why therapy is a good thing.
The "kids" are now adults who have each moved out of the family home and are living beautiful lives.
My family and I have been going back and forth to Florida to keep my mom company while she navigates cancer. I have tremendous friends in Florida who I love to visit. Occasionally I read cards in a metaphysical shop while I am there.
My wishes for 2023 are:
Yes you gotta let love lead you
And you gotta let love shine through
Oh, shine, oh, shine
Oh, shine, oh, shine
Light up, light up, light up your heart
Light up, light up, light up the dark
Here's to 2023. Rest when you need to. Dance when you need to. ALWAYS let love shine through you.
My sister Jane and I were mesmerized audience members when I first "met" Amanda Gorman on November 11, 2019 at a Together Rising event in NYC at The Town Hall.
She is young, charismatic, passionate, intelligent (Harvard, Class of 2020), and tremendously talented. She is the Inaugural Youth Poet Laureate of the United States and she can now add Inaugural Poet of 2021 to her extensive resume. Amanda is a wordsmith activist!
From a pool of over 20,000 applicants she was offered a position as a NYT contributor with college students and recent graduates as her audience.
She is the face of Prada.
She has a TED-Ed Student Talk.
Her long term goal? President 2036.
Watching her perform her works is the literal definition of "poetry in motion."
If you missed her poem at the Presidential Inauguration yesterday, never fear, I have linked it below. I urge you to check out ALL of her spoken word poems. Vibrant. Electric. Magical. ALL the adjectives. She is a force to be reckoned with.
Where else can you find her?
She wrote the forward for the book "Vital Voices: 100 Women Using Their Power to Empower."
She has written her first children's book, "Change Sings" which will be released on September 21, 2021.
She is also releasing a book of poems.
The Hill We Climb
When day comes,
we ask ourselves
where can we find light
in this never-ending shade?
The loss we carry,
a sea we must wade,
we’ve braved the belly of the beast.
We’ve learned that quiet
isn’t always peace.
And the norms and notions
of what “just is”
isn’t always just-ice.
And yet, the dawn is ours
before we knew it.
Somehow we do it.
Somehow we’ve weathered
a nation that isn’t broken,
but simply unfinished.
We, the successors of a country
and a time
where a skinny black girl
descended from slaves
by a single mother
of becoming president
only to find herself
reciting for one.
And yes, we are
far from polished,
far from pristine,
but that doesn’t mean
we are striving to form
a union that is perfect.
We are striving to forge
our union with purpose.
a country committed
to all cultures,
And so we lift our gazes
not to what stands between us,
but what stands before us.
We close the divide
because we know
to put our future first,
we must first
put our differences aside.
We lay down
so we can reach out
to one another.
We seek harm to none
and harmony for all.
Let the globe,
if nothing else,
say this is true.
That even as we grieved,
That even as we hurt,
That even as we tired,
that we’ll forever be tied
we will never again
we will never again
Scripture tells us to envision
that everyone shall sit
under their own vine and fig tree
and no one shall make them afraid.
If we’re to live up to our own time,
then victory won’t lie in the blade,
but in all the bridges we’ve made.
is the promise to glade,
the hill we climb
if only we dare it.
Because being American
is more than a pride
It’s the past
we step into
we repair it.
We’ve seen a force
that would shatter our nation
rather than share it.
Would destroy our country
if it meant delaying democracy.
And this effort very nearly succeeded.
But while democracy
can be periodically delayed,
it can never be permanently defeated.
In this truth,
in this faith
we have our eyes
on the future,
has its eyes on us.
This is the era
of just redemption.
We feared it
at its inception.
We did not feel prepared
to be the heirs
of such a terrifying hour,
but within it,
we found the power
to author a new chapter,
to offer hope and laughter
so while once we asked,
how could we possibly
prevail over catastrophe?
Now we assert,
how could catastrophe possibly
prevail over us?
We will not
to what was,
to what shall be
that is bruised,
We will not
be turned around
because we know
our inaction and inertia
will be the inheritance
of the next generation.
become their burdens.
But one thing is certain,
if we merge mercy with might
and might with right,
becomes our legacy
our children’s birthright.
So let us leave behind
a country better than
the one we were left.
With every breath
from my bronze-pounded chest
we will raise this wounded world
into a wondrous one.
We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the West.
We will rise from the wind-swept Northeast
where our forefathers first realized revolution.
We will rise from the lake rimmed cities of the Midwestern states.
We will rise from the sun-baked South.
We will rebuild, reconcile and recover
in every known nook of our nation,
in every corner called our country
our people diverse and beautiful
will emerge battered and beautiful.
When day comes,
we step out of the shade
aflame and unafraid.
The new dawn blooms
as we free it.
For there is always light.
we’re brave enough
to see it.
we’re brave enough
to be it.
I don't follow this trend. I don't even try to. I like too many words. I like too many sayings. And sometimes, a single word just isn't enough.
IF I was going to choose a word, it would be for everyone, every day.
B R E A T H E
Have you "met" these young men yet? Twin brothers, Tim and Fred listen to songs they've never heard before and give you their thoughts. It's a trip down a rabbit hole if you've got some time and well worth it.
Rappers Delight - a song with A LOT of words!
This weekend, I had the privilege of participating in a virtual retreat organized by my dear friend Kacey. It was filled to the brim with information, love, joy, tears, self care, self love, and laughter.
Yesterday I read cards for 18 women. E I G H T E E N. That might be a record for me. It was absolutely marvelous. I did my hair. I put on a fancy shirt and sparkly jewelry. I wore makeup AND I added magnetic eyelashes. I was all that, let me tell you.
Today, I participated in my pajamas, sans makeup, with my hair in a ponytail. I am a huge fan of Sunday's in jammies. It is a leftover feeling from my salon days when we worked Thursday through Saturday like crazy people. All I wanted to do on Sunday's was veg out. Today, I did put on a bra, I participated, I caught up with what I missed all while I was cozy. It's been a supremely lovely day.
There is something to be said about a virtual retreat. You may miss the real life camaraderie of your fellow attendees and sharing meals. BUT, you can do the whole retreat in your jammies, or without your screen on, or in whichever way works best for you. It is a new and unique experience.
I'll keep you posted for what gets dreamed up next.
Ease into 2021...there's still 362 days to figure it out.
This is a magnificent 6 minutes of your time.
Alison Jolicoeur was a presenter at the event; she is magical.
Do you all remember 2012-2103 when I wrote a blog post every.single.day.? I can't say for certain that I am returning to that, but I have so much I want to say and share and I *know* you've been waiting with baited breath for my return.
Let's recap 2020, shall we?
TL;DR - in which I recap the year, celebrate a few family moments, and share my mom's Uterine Cancer diagnosis and also let you all know she's doing very well.
* On December 31, 2019 we celebrated our 12th year of New Year's Eve fun with our friends the Tandy's. We fully expected to repeat that last night. We did not. I still made lasagna and we had Italian bread and it was delicious. I missed the annual catch up of whatever adult kids happen to be joining us for dinner and I missed our friends. Instead of yawning in Claire's living room I said, "the hell with it," and went to bed by 10:30. Yawning issue fixed.
* In February Kathy and I sold the salon. I knew I had to take the month of March off to regroup and get the Magic Basement magical. I needed to back away from all things salon and move full speed ahead into maggiepinque.com. This gave Shelley, Leslie and Justine the opportunity to create their own brand and make the place theirs. (I don't know if you know this but I tend to have a rather memorable personality.) They needed the time to own their social media accounts and let the clients celebrate them. They have created beautiful content filled to the brim with hair galore - something I never quite managed to do.
* In March I started creating my new work environment. I had made myself a marvelous room at the salon, and now all the artful objects of that room were in boxes in my basement. I got to work. Unloading. Hanging new items, archiving old items. Jane and I went to the 92Y on March 10 to see Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach talk about Glennon's book "Untamed". And then our world totally and completely changed. Peter began working at home on March 16. Bella began on March 17. I made a dreadful St. Patrick's Day corned beef. Seriously, it was quite nearly inedible. We played Phase One. We had cocktail hours. We were a family making magic happen. Until this life became routine. And then we figured out how to live and work and be together day in and day out. We began a Buckley family Zoom call every Sunday at 4:00.
* In April I began doing Facebook Live Card Readings. It was 100% for my own sanity and the sanity of others. I showed up every day at 10:15 and twice on Wednesday's - in the morning and in the evening. I can honestly say people who didn't know each other became friendly and in some cases friends. I was reading people from the Philippines, the UK, and Taiwan. I kept at this until the end of May.
* In May we celebrated our 25th Anniversary like any other day.
* In June we celebrated Bella's 23rd birthday with a made from scratch cake. My niece Colleen took a leap of faith and moved to Nashville.
* In July we celebrated the 4th of July by doing nothing.
* In August my mom hopped on a plane to NY from Florida and settled into living at Jane and Brian's house. My first grand nephew Alden was born. He is charming and beautiful and all the adjectives.
* In September I ordered all the pieces to redo the kids bathroom since the tub is leaking from the inside through the outside soffits. GOOD TIMES. Important side note: the tub was backordered and was delivered on December 7. We celebrated my mom's 85th birthday party safely and socially distanced in the McCarthy's backyard. On September 26 my niece Jennifer and her fiancé Dalton skipped off to Nashville and eloped! The bride was radiant and glorious, the groom dapper and the setting old world charm.
* In October we began the long awaited patio in the back year. By long awaited, I mean over 15 years. I cannot stress how life changing this is. Of course, patio furniture is all made in China and thus impossible to find, so next year we shall get on that. In the meantime we have a total of two Adirondack chairs that we are enjoying when it's not too cold. I brought mom to Stewart Airport the last weekend of October and she headed back to the warmth that is Florida in the winter.
* In November we celebrated Thanksgiving with fried chicken cutlets, macaroni and cheese, and broccoli. For the record, it was so yummy and Bella had cutlets for lunch for days. It was really hard to not be celebrating in our normal way with family. We gobbled anyway. My niece Caitlan (mama to Alden) and her partner Kyle bought a house! It is a stupendous fixer upper with tons of room, so many fabulous nooks and crannies and a gorgeous piece of property.
* In December I purged "the other side of the basement" and the house of over 200 items. HOW can one place have that much stuff you wonder? Well, being a highly crafty person, I had an insane amount of items I was waiting to create or alter or use in some way. That thinking led to a lot of dust over the past 10 years. And so, with my iPhone, an Excel spreadsheet and the FB group, Buy Nothing, I went on a wild spree of gifting anything and everything I knew it was time to let go of. I cannot stress how freeing this all was. We also found out my mom had Uterine Cancer. Jane immediately flew down to Florida and has been our go to person and world class communicator extraordinaire. As of this second, Peg has had all the surgery necessary via the miracle of robotic, laparoscopic means and will have a pretty tremendous recovery. There are still a few treatments she will have to undergo, but all in all, she's doing mighty amazingly for a gal who was diagnosed at the beginning of December to the end of December. We celebrated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the core four Pinque's and we don't take for granted that we all still like and love each other.
In the category of things that made a difference:
* Now that I am no longer sitting at the front desk of a hair salon I have let my hair show it's natural sparkles and silver. It's taking a while to grow in but all in all I love it.
* Speaking of hair, I jumped on the all in one styling tool wagon and now, more often that not, my hair is down rather than in a pony tail. The '80's have returned with this product and my hair generally looks good!
* The commercials won me over and I purchased the Waterpik Sonic Fusion Flossing Electric Toothbrush. This toothbrush made a difference in ONE WEEK. So much so that I became to poster child for the dental hygienist.
As we move forward in 2021, let's celebrate all the things that were amazing. Let's celebrate the things we did that helped us hang on. But let's never forget the tireless work of everyone who was essential. Can you fathom no food? Can you fathom no medical support? Of course not. Hug those you can. Wash your hands. Wear your mask. Celebrate and thank every educator you know; what they managed to make happen is nothing short of miraculous. Imagine the money you saved by not commuting; not to mention that you finally got a decent nights sleep. Zoom brought people together in ways we never could have pictured in it's its own kind of brilliance. Send love to each person you know who suffered a loss. These are trying times and staying optimistic tested the most positive of us. Remember you are the world to the people who know and love you.
Sending you blessings of love, laughter, abundance, excellent health, wealt, peace, creativity and great joy.
Raise your glass to 2021.
So raise your glass if you are wrong,
In all the right ways,
All my underdogs,
We will never be never be, anything but loud
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks
Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,
Just come on and come on and raise your glass
Every day, while we are living through and experiencing an international pandemic, it is my true pleasure to share some love. Join me for a universal daily reading followed by individual readings on Facebook at 10:15.
I will be doing sweet dreams readings on Wednesday evenings at 7:15.
Yes, you can come every day! Your energy changes every day and so will your reading unless of course you're stuck on something. Then not only will your life feel like Groundhog Day, so too will your readings. But don't fret - we'll get you out of that stuck if we can.
THANK YOU to everyone who has been showing up. It lifts me up every morning.
Heart, head and hope.
All in one place.
All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.
(It's been a week, hasn't it?
My kids are grown adults who are able to work at home. Never in my life have I been so grateful to have a Cape Cod style house with lots of individual rooms. (I knew there was as reason we didn't go open concept here!) Peter is working in the office. Bella has created an office in her bedroom. Marco is in the den and I am spending far too much time in the kitchen (honest to god, I haven't cooked this much in YEARS!) and the Magic Basement.
Our neighborhood is awash with people walking.
Dogs are beside themselves with joy. If you are on Twitter, follow Thoughts of Dog. It will make you smile.
Our dogs have destroyed our backyard. What was once grass is now a mud bog race track. The upside is that it is fenced and they are safe and can run to their hearts content. You know it's time to come inside when THEY go to the back door. Last night Bella and Marco gave them a bath. It's always an adventure. Peter was still working and I was cooking...again...still.
The other night at dinner Peter was teasing me and I just started to cry. I went from zero to full tears in less than five seconds. Bella said, "It's only day one of all of us being home." And that was true. BUT, it was day seven of ME preparing. Making sure we had enough food. Making sure we had enough toilet paper and paper towels. Making sure we would all be A-OK. I had reached critical mass for a silly joking remark. IT'S OK TO CRY. These are unprecedented times for ALL of us. We can all be moved to tears from beauty, frustration and anger. In my case, I think it was mental exhaustion. Of course we're set here. I made sure of it. It's my role in this family for 24 years.
Marco gives us stability and endless jokes on Facebook. (It is a mystery where he finds his material but we are all grateful for it.) Peter makes us think and presents many sides to a situation and makes us laugh. Bella tells us tales from the office and gives us facts from the medical world and makes us laugh. I have an amazing family; I know that. I am grateful for the laughter.
BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO CRY.
So, when you cry (and you will) know you're in good company!
I have taken full advantage of the arts on social media. Concerts. Books being read aloud. Museum tours. Its extraordinary what is available for all of us at this time. And it's what makes the internet so unbelievably powerful. Our ability to BE connected while staying inside. Staying at least six feet apart from someone if you are out and about.
Some of the things intriguing me:
I asked this question on FB the other day and got SO MANY fabulous responses. My friend Lisa shared it on her page as well and she got many fabulous responses. I created the NY to WI (she lives in Wisconsin) playlist on Spotify. It's 2020. It was time to finally get Spotify. WHAT A FUN APP! I invite YOU to get on up and dance. Feel free to suggest additional songs. It would be so much fun to get to 100 songs that make you want to dance.
So. How are YOU holding up? Feel free to share. It's not all sunshine and rainbows.
The service industry is in turmoil. And their bills will still need to be paid. SUPPORT who you can. Gift cards. Future appointments. Curb side take out. You know what your family can afford to do. EVERY. LITTLE. BIT. HELPS.
Sending peace and love and a little High School Musical interlude.
Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong (we make each other strong)
We're not the same
We're different in a good way
Together's where we belong
TODAY, is the first Saturday I have been "off" without a reason in over 6.5 years. It is Leap Day. And selling the salon (as well as buying it!) was a leap of faith.
May this be the year something tugs at your heart and you too, take a leap of faith.
A little Bruce on Saturday.
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust
I have always had a basement. Many years ago it was renamed the Magic Basement when my friend Kathy called me to ask me if I had an almond paste. For whatever reason, I actually did. Go figure. SHE is the one who said, "you have a Magic Basement," and it stuck.
I wrote a blog every single day for over a year.
Then, I bought a salon. And the blogging had to stop because people needed to be paid and I had to put my energies into making sure that happened.
Well, the salon is sold and here we are.
I decided late last year I wanted to move everything to maggiepinque.com in order to make finding me simple. I wanted to do everything that runs across the top of this page - read cards, create vision boards, run retreats, clear spaces, continue healing people using energy and whatever else struck my fancy.
To read all the old posts, I invite you to take a gander on over to TGHR where I've left up the blog posts.
I invite you to subscribe to these new posts via the feed.
And I invite you to come on over! Come get your cards read. Come create a vision board. Contact me if you've got pain that just won't go away in your head - that seems to be where my best results are. I can clear spooky spaces. I can marry you and perform any other ceremony you might want me to. I can create a marvelous retreat. Come have a cup of coffee or tea. Just come!
I am very much looking forward to sharing life, once again, from the Magic Basement.
It's so good to be back.
Seems like the right song.